What Are You Playing?

[Lawliet]

The Cafisto Protoanal - Now that title might make it sound like I'm shitting on it (don't want that on your hands), but this is probably up there with anything I've played this year besides the holy Elden one. I don't know how far in I am, but I figure it's gotta be more than halfway if not two thirds and I still haven't fought a real boss yet! It's like Plague Tale 2 where they just send some mobs after me every once in a while and let me free up some inventory using bullets (are the jumpy guys the "bosses" Lawliet, am I somehow less than a quarter of the way through!?). It's actually hard to get rid of my ammo sometimes because I've figured out so many exploits to kill or avoid enemies without spending it (at least my inventory is finally expanded =), kind of like busted-ass RE8 with it's disappearing, reappearing monsters.

Well, the game overall isn't very long, so I assume you're more than halfway through by now. Remind me who those jumpy guys were, again? There is a total of 5 "bosses" in the game, 4 of which are the same asshole dude, and the fifth being the final one. You'll know the former as soon as you see him, so if you've encountered him already then yeah, you're approaching the end line (though it may take a while to get there if you suck like I do )

Speaking of which, I didn't mention it in-depth before, but in addition to the wonky environmental triggers, the saving, loading, and checkpoint restarting in this game is broken as Hell. First of all, don't bother manually saving, it doesn't matter, because no matter where you do it just restarts you at the last checkpoint with whatever you had then. So, if you picked up a bunch of awesome monster drops after a checkpoint, saved and quit, say goodbye to that stuff because it's never coming back. The game just shouldn't have manual saves because it doesn't have manual saves, not even approximating where you were. You can use this to your advantage though, basically if there's any randomly generating items or potential drops right after a checkpoint, you can just reload until you get the best shit. It'll take you all of a couple minutes. It's also a great opportunity to just maximize the efficiency of clearing an area or learning how to bypass it altogether (if the exit requires crouching they won't follow you, and may even disappear once you pass, whoops =).

Hahahahaha. Yeah, that "save" system amounts to jack shit. I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier. The game is obviously lacking in so many basic features that I wonder what they spent all these development years for. Did you know Sony sent 150 people to help the team with making this game? You'd think they were building a monument! Instead, it's a decent 12 hour game that lacks many standard features. This industry is so shit

Anyway, at least we got a fun anecdote about your adventures in Black Iron Prison. The was a fun post to read.

I actually think I remember you critiquing the SotC one as chubby, because, yeah, he does just sort of look like some random guy in that version. Still, overall, I think it maintained the grandeur of that world despite having to show it in heretofore unknown detail.

Chubby!?

I'd mostly agree, though what and how you enhance it, what catches your eye and how one sees it, is the debate I guess, which is why I'm interested to see fans react to how they handle SH2 fog in modern 4K. It's like, does the enhancement in technology automatically lower the artistry that was originally employed to overcome those technological limits, or can they find that modern equivalent where it feels the same even if it doesn't look the same? Nostalgia is also a factor where SH and RE look "classic" in my memory but probably just like jaggy dogshit to the objective eye.

Oh, I just meant it's graphically enhanced. That's all. Guess that was an unnecessary obvious statement to make.

But if we mean which version is better, then I think this is an unnecessary debate. We can always go back to the original version, after all. It hasn't been made obsolete by the remake.

I also don't think better technology equals lower artistry. It's just different artistry, so comparing the two doesn't seem logical, in my opinion. Does it feel the same? Of course not, as I mentioned earlier when comparing the mysterious, oppressive feel of the original with the immediate, beautiful feel of the remake. And it doesn't have to feel the same, otherwise why bother with a remake, right?

What was the difference again? I've played both and remember it being a nightmare in each case!

Well, in 2009's DS, the Man-Eaters were little more than glowing eyeballs in the dark, with creepy piano music in the background. It really gets under the skin. The remake's Man-Eaters are brightly lit, so much that you can see their individual hairs, and the music is bombastic and epic. It's a completely different fight if we don't count the other stuff, like the move-sets and so on.

But yes, that boss is a pain in each case!

 

[Griffith]

Well, the game overall isn't very long, so I assume you're more than halfway through by now. Remind me who those jumpy guys were, again? There is a total of 5 "bosses" in the game, 4 of which are the same asshole dude, and the fifth being the final one. You'll know the former as soon as you see him, so if you've encountered him already then yeah, you're approaching the end line (though it may take a while to get there if you suck like I do

I'm taking it plenty slow, but it definitely seems like I'm headed toward the endgame, I'm past revisiting my ship with Dani, yet I still don't know who you're talking about! Other than the jumper/crawler/runners I mentioned, no other segments have jumped out as "bossy" to me, and even those barely qualify. I would think it would be Ferris if anybody but I've yet to fight him, and I assume he or Cole would be the last boss. You know, after he achieves the pinnacle of evolution, man!

Hahahahaha. Yeah, that "save" system amounts to jack shit. I can't believe I forgot to mention this earlier. The game is obviously lacking in so many basic features that I wonder what they spent all these development years for. Did you know Sony sent 150 people to help the team with making this game? You'd think they were building a monument! Instead, it's a decent 12 hour game that lacks many standard features.

Yeah, the fact Sony had to do that doesn't paint a rosy picture of the development. My guess is the idea was the obvious next-gen spiritual successor to Dead Space, with a major focus on the next gen graphics and a BIG HOLLYWOOD STAR to really put it over the top!

So, whatever the idea, they bit off more than they could chew, but what I appreciate about it is that with its unique melee and weapon combo mechanics it's not merely trying to be another smooth shooting third person RE or Dead Space, even though they probably ended up bringing it more in line with that in the end anyway. Thus, the more heavy, awkward movement and relative lack of smooth combat, which, of course, everyone now hates.

Anyway, at least we got a fun anecdote about your adventures in Black Iron Prison. The was a fun post to read.

Glad you enjoyed it; my stay in space prison was... fine. We'll see if it can claw its way to number 2 by the end of this year, but honestly, as much as I'm enjoying the ride I just don't feel that way about it. Even if I end up really liking it personally it'll be hard for me to argue it's better than Horizon, GoW, etc.

Chubby!?

Yeah man, don't know for sure it was Dar_Klink, but fat-shaming on our very board.

Well, in 2009's DS, the Man-Eaters were little more than glowing eyeballs in the dark, with creepy piano music in the background. It really gets under the skin. The remake's Man-Eaters are brightly lit, so much that you can see their individual hairs, and the music is bombastic and epic. It's a completely different fight if we don't count the other stuff, like the move-sets and so on.

But yes, that boss is a pain in each case!

Ah, yeah, I must have had the brightness up in the original because I don't remember it being THAT dark, but the remake indeed wasn't dark at all (gotta show off the wares). All I know is falling off the ledge when I was winning sure felt the same. I wonder why they tried juicing that fight up? I guess because it was already pretty infamous and iconic, but then all the more reason not to drastically alter the feel of it like that and make it something it's not.

 

[Lawliet]

I'm taking it plenty slow, but it definitely seems like I'm headed toward the endgame, I'm past revisiting my ship with Dani, yet I still don't know who you're talking about! Other than the jumper/crawler/runners I mentioned, no other segments have jumped out as "bossy" to me, and even those barely qualify. I would think it would be Ferris if anybody but I've yet to fight him, and I assume he or Cole would be the last boss.

Huh. You haven't encountered him then. Oh well, you'll get to him soon!

You know, after he achieves the pinnacle of evolution, man!

Albert Wesker did it first and it didn't work out for him! They never learn!

Yeah, the fact Sony had to do that doesn't paint a rosy picture of the development. My guess is the idea was the obvious next-gen spiritual successor to Dead Space, with a major focus on the next gen graphics and a BIG HOLLYWOOD STAR to really put it over the top!

It's almost like this formula never works. MGSV, Cyberpunk 2077, and now this shit LOL. They give new meaning to "history repeats itself".

So, whatever the idea, they bit off more than they could chew, but what I appreciate about it is that with its unique melee and weapon combo mechanics it's not merely trying to be another smooth shooting third person RE or Dead Space, even though they probably ended up bringing it more in line with that in the end anyway. Thus, the more heavy, awkward movement and relative lack of smooth combat, which, of course, everyone now hates.

I enjoyed the combat, despite the heaviness and awkwardness, which I think contribute to the game anyway. A horror game where you're moving as smoothly as a gymnast would lose a lot of the, well, horror, I believe. So I think it works for this game.

By the way, did you fiddle with the controls before starting out? I changed some options, such as camera and aim sensitivity, and it made the experience better for me.

Glad you enjoyed it; my stay in space prison was... fine. We'll see if it can claw its way to number 2 by the end of this year, but honestly, as much as I'm enjoying the ride I just don't feel that way about it. Even if I end up really liking it personally it'll be hard for me to argue it's better than Horizon, GoW, etc.

Oh yeah, Callisto is a tech-demo in comparison to those games. If Game Awards included December releases, it would have probably lost any award to them. Instead, Horizon ended up being the runt of the nominees

As for my number 2 of 2022, I think I've settled on Yakuza 7. What a lovely game that was. If you ever need a break from typical AAA stuff, I'd recommend practically anything from the Yakuza/Judgment series.

Yeah man, don't know for sure it was Dar_Klink, but fat-shaming on our very board.

I mean, it's such a weird and hilarious complaint haha. "The protag is chubby." Sounds like a con on a GameSpot review, the same publication that once put "too much water" as a con on a Pokemon review

Ah, yeah, I must have had the brightness up in the original because I don't remember it being THAT dark, but the remake indeed wasn't dark at all (gotta show off the wares). All I know is falling off the ledge when I was winning sure felt the same. I wonder why they tried juicing that fight up? I guess because it was already pretty infamous and iconic, but then all the more reason not to drastically alter the feel of it like that and make it something it's not.

Hence the usual to-be-or-not-to-be-faithful dilemma of remaking. I've come to terms with this in the way I described in my previous post: remakes are simply different versions, and not replacements. So if we ever feel like going back to the source, the originals are waiting.

 

[Griffith]

Huh. You haven't encountered him then. Oh well, you'll get to him soon!

Rip the Face Off Tad Hamilton! - (By far my favorite fake title =) I think I finally got to this boss, and damn, that's a long way in for a first boss and he still felt pretty much like a "regular enemy," just a tough one. He was actually easier than the normals because you can just fire away, dodge, run, repeat. You can't just hit and run the normals. Three more times with this asshole? Ok.

As for those normals, I was relieved to dump all my ammo here because sneak killing all the blind guys was really making me feel the pain of leaving shit behind.

It's almost like this formula never works. MGSV, Cyberpunk 2077, and now this shit LOL. They give new meaning to "history repeats itself".

Well, it's more that in a world with games like those, where legit A-list actors and stars have been appearing for a while now, Josh Duhamel isn't exactly moving the needle (though he's fine in the role actually, it's just distracting knowing who he is). Like, they couldn't get Henry Cavill, or Jason Statham? Vin Diesel? Or go old school with Bruce Willis (perfect if he could do it health-wise, pretty sure he's retired though), Sylvester Stallone, or even AHHNOLD! It's not like they're so busy, and the beauty of gaming is they can be their prime action hero selves again. This is a market inefficiency!

Also, here's two legitimate A+ listers I think could be had, but it needs to be the right game, major cache, and they basically need to own it: The Rock or Tom Cruise. Cruise would only do it if he got to mo-cap the stunts, and that would be after explaining to him they don't actually put him into the game to fight like Tron. =)

Anyway, get on it, Kojima.

I enjoyed the combat, despite the heaviness and awkwardness, which I think contribute to the game anyway. A horror game where you're moving as smoothly as a gymnast would lose a lot of the, well, horror, I believe. So I think it works for this game.

Yeah, I don't mind that you don't move around with unrealistically smooth agility like almost every other non-VR game besides Death Stranding and Team Ico. I'm not sure this is a horror game though, at least not survival horror in the sense that you can literally buy, stock up on and basically trade in ammo all time. I had so much I never bothered with this before the platform fight where I sold everything but shotgun ammo and then just bought more shotgun ammo.

Anyway, I kind of appreciate that this game rips off a bit of everything: Dead Space, The Thing, Aliens, Doom, Resident Evil, Half-Life, Bioshock, Last of Us, Mass Effect, Metal Gear, etc etc.

By the way, did you fiddle with the controls before starting out? I changed some options, such as camera and aim sensitivity, and it made the experience better for me.

Playing default all the way, though I tried switching light and heavy melee attack because it's just maddening after a decade of Souls and every other game doing it the other way.

Oh yeah, Callisto is a tech-demo in comparison to those games. If Game Awards included December releases, it would have probably lost any award to them. Instead, Horizon ended up being the runt of the nominees

I don't know, Horizon is still pretty up there to me, definitely a contender for second place, which is all these games are competing for in the non-Elden Ring division.

 

[Walter]

Like, they couldn't get Henry Cavill, or Jason Statham? Vin Diesel? Or go old school with Bruce Willis (perfect if he could do it health-wise, pretty sure he's retired though), Sylvester Stallone, or even AHHNOLD! It's not like they're so busy, and the beauty of gaming is they can be their prime action hero selves again. This is a market inefficiency!

Also, here's two legitimate A+ listers I think could be had, but it needs to be the right game, major cache, and they basically need to own it: The Rock or Tom Cruise. Cruise would only do it if he got to mo-cap the stunts, and that would be after explaining to him they don't actually put him into the game to fight like Tron. =)

I genuinely think A-list actors’ agents steer them clear of video games because they’re fearful people will extract game assets and use their character models in uhhh unauthorized ways. After all, thanks to Kojima we can see Conan O’Brien getting a blowjob from Geoff Keighley any time we collectively feel the need—forever.

 

[Rhombaad]

I finished Ico over the weekend. I was worried that after all the hype I’d read (“video games as art” came up a LOT) the game would disappoint. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

I was hooked from the moment the forest appeared with the silent men on horseback making their way to the castle. The atmosphere of Ico and its cinematic presentation was the highlight of the game for me. I would sometimes just stop playing and gawk at the imagery on screen.

The gameplay, while simple, wasn’t the slightest bit boring. In fact, I was tense most of the way through the game, but not at the expense of the fun. Leaving Yorda on her own became harder and harder to do, because you just knew if you took too long, the shadows would be after her. Fortunately, they only nabbed her successfully three times.

I could go on and on, but I’ll leave you all with this: Ico was one of those games I hoped would never end, even though it ended all too soon. Highly recommended for those who’ve never played it.

Next up: Grand Theft Auto III.

 

[Lawliet]

Rip the Face Off Tad Hamilton - (By far my favorite fake title =) I think I finally got to this boss, and damn, that's a long way in for a first boss and he still felt pretty much like a "regular enemy," just a tough one. He was actually easier than the normals because you can just fire away, dodge, run, repeat. You can't just hit and run the normals. Three more times with this asshole? Ok.

Yep. That's him. I didn't mind him too much the first time, but he pretty much abused me in the second and fourth fights. Maybe it was due to the difference in environment or to me just sucking, but I'll wait to see what you'll say after those encounters.

As for those normals, I was relieved to dump all my ammo here because sneak killing all the blind guys was really making me feel the pain of leaving shit behind.

Those blind guys add another game to your list of games Callisto ripped off: Last of Us (clickers). I enjoyed that section, as I like it when you're in situations that require stealth and silence.

Well, it's more that in a world with games like those, where legit A-list actors and stars have been appearing for a while now, Josh Duhamel isn't exactly moving the needle (though he's fine in the role actually, it's just distracting knowing who he is).

I'm usually a total idiot with recognizing faces, so I couldn't tell who he was during gameplay even though he seemed familiar. I looked him up after I finished the game, so I didn't have such a distraction!

Like, they couldn't get Henry Cavill,

Would love a Henry Cavill game! Maybe Witcher 4? But actually, classic Geralt voiced by Doug Cockle is just too good to replace.

Vin Diesel?

He's too busy being featured in another game:

Or go old school with Bruce Willis (perfect if he could do it health-wise, pretty sure he's retired though)

Pretty sure he can do it. Proof? Here:

Sylvester Stallone, or even AHHNOLD! It's not like they're so busy, and the beauty of gaming is they can be their prime action hero selves again. This is a market inefficiency!

I can't see Sly or Arnold in another game after chopping their heads off, slicing and dicing them, vaporizing them, and otherwise inflicting all sorts of horrors on them in Mortal Kombat 11.

Also, here's two legitimate A+ listers I think could be had, but it needs to be the right game, major cache, and they basically need to own it: The Rock or Tom Cruise. Cruise would only do it if he got to mo-cap the stunts, and that would be after explaining to him they don't actually put him into the game to fight like Tron. =)

Not bad choices, though in this case the distraction problem you mentioned will manifest strongly, at least for me.

You know who I'd like to play as in a game? Bryan Cranston. Maybe in a role that involves him going on an old-man espionage adventure ala MGS4 Solid Snake. Or Rowan Atkinson in a black-comedy thriller.

Anyway, get on it, Kojima.

I'd rather someone else gets on it haha. Actually I remembered the Yakuza studio. They always bring in famous (in Japan) actors and the results are pretty cool!

Yeah, I don't mind that you don't move around with unrealistically smooth agility like almost every other non-VR game besides Death Stranding and Team Ico. I'm not sure this is a horror game though, at least not survival horror in the sense that you can literally buy, stock up on and basically trade in ammo all time. I had so much I never bothered with this before the platform fight where I sold everything but shotgun ammo and then just bought more shotgun ammo.

True. As I mentioned in my post, I didn't once feel the horror anyway, not like how Resi delivers it anyway. I'm not sure what is the particular missing aspect here. Maybe they should have added a stalker enemy, like RE2make's Mr. X or RE8's Lady D?

Anyway, I kind of appreciate that this game rips off a bit of everything: Aliens, Doom, Resident Evil, Half-Life, Bioshock, Dead Space, etc etc.

Yeah, it was a fun cocktail, though it could have used that particular flavor that it can claim for itself.

Playing default all the way, though I tried switching light and heavy melee attack because it's just maddening after a decade of Souls and every other game doing it the other way.

Yeah that came across as weird to me too. Even more than GoW's default option of dodging with X, which I changed to O right away.

I don't know, Horizon is still pretty up there to me, definitely a contender for second place, which is all these games are competing for in the non-Elden Ring division.

Why not?

Anyway, I was just mentioning that Horizon didn't win anything in the GA, iirc.

I genuinely think A-list actors’ agents steer them clear of video games because they’re fearful people will extract game assets and use their character models in uhhh unauthorized ways. After all, thanks to Kojima we can see Conan O’Brien getting a blowjob from Geoff Keighley any time we collectively feel the need—forever.

Thank you for that vivid image

I finished Ico over the weekend. I was worried that after all the hype I’d read (“video games as art” came up a LOT) the game would disappoint. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Very glad you enjoyed it. Fumito Ueda, the creator of Ico, is a true genius. He only put out three games in his career - Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, and the Last Guardian - and each one was gold. I myself consider SotC to be the best game ever made. I hope if and when you reach SotC and TLG, you'll enjoy them too!

Next up: Grand Theft Auto III.

Now this brings back memories! Mostly of my parents worrying about my, ahem, behavior on the streets of Liberty City (and Vice City after it)

 

[Dar_Klink]

Yeah man, don't know for sure it was Dar_Klink, but fat-shaming on our very board.

Haha might have been me... I don't like how his face looks in the remake but it's more because it just doesn't capture the feel of the original at all. I mean, I know it's cynical to say and I said it already, but I'd rather they just not do these "remasters" or port them slightly refreshed to newer consoles, which even with that they seem to mess up a lot. The biggest issue is the same as with animation, film, etc, I think they don't keep all the old assets around to easily HD-ify the textures, models, and all that and so you end up with Silent Hill HD collection... but fans have taken the PC version anyway and upscaled it in ways that work well, same for Demon's Souls looking fine on emulator even when you put it into 4K/60FPS.

Something like RE2 remake I do enjoy but that's a complete re-imagining rebuilt from the ground up by Capcom. I mean it would have been cool to do to it what they did to RE1 and keep the gameplay style as intact as possible, but it was still great. I am a bit iffy still on ultra realistic faces even when it comes to stuff like that though, even Death Stranding at times, which I think did that style of face capture the best, had issues. It's something in the way they render teeth and open mouths that is really off-putting to me.

I do miss when the face/body rendering and animation arms race gave us stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/dreamboum/status/1226610123000467457

Bluepoint remake

All that aside, why did they do this to Satsuki?

The actual in-game render of him in original isn't amazing:

But how did they turn him into some weird racist looking shiny glossy man? They didn't even attempt to make him look like his concept art:

Stuff like this is just baffling to me, like they made generic 3D models and never updated to them to look like the characters they were supposed to represent.

Oh and I'm 99% certain I brought this one up before, but this sucks major ass:

I just really hope that From is way more hands on if there is a Bloodborne remake at some point.

 

[Rhombaad]

Very glad you enjoyed it. Fumito Ueda, the creator of Ico, is a true genius. He only put out three games in his career - Ico, Shadow of the Colossus, and the Last Guardian - and each one was gold. I myself consider SotC to be the best game ever made. I hope if and when you reach SotC and TLG, you'll enjoy them too!

I’ve heard nothing but good things about Ueda and his games. SotC looks amazing, and I can’t wait to play it.

Now this brings back memories! Mostly of my parents worrying about my, ahem, behavior on the streets of Liberty City (and Vice City after it)

The first GTA game I played was San Andreas, and that was in college, so my parents had no say.

 

[Griffith]

I genuinely think A-list actors’ agents steer them clear of video games because they’re fearful people will extract game assets and use their character models in uhhh unauthorized ways. After all, thanks to Kojima we can see Conan O’Brien getting a blowjob from Geoff Keighley any time we collectively feel the need—forever.

Well, my counter to them would be that's just going to happen anyway, right? Life finds a way!


Speaking of Conan, I kept forgetting to post it during the Plague Tale discussions in here but Conan featured Requiem in the return of Clueless Gamer:

The opening is a pretty good recreation of me talking about these games to my wife, which is why I post my thoughts here so you all can roll your eyes at home. Now he just needs to bring Bill Harder back for God Of War Ragnarok.

BTW, compare how much Conan has gone to pot from 4 years ago after the pandemic and going off the air. But he doesn't need to look youthful anymore, because Conan's back... in pod form ("you traded my soul for pogs!?" is also a go-to line when I want to gently express my disappointment and exasperation in someone =)! I'm genuinely impressed Conan seamlessly made the transition to podcasting after like 35 years in TV doing 80's SNL, The Simpsons, and Late Night/Conan (uhh, that's all pretty legendary already). He's seemingly never going away and is actually really good on the pod, like there's no TV filtering process it all has to get through anymore, just Conan compulsively doing the bits he'd be doing anyway whether he was performing for an audience or sitting home by himself.

Anyway, I DIGRESS...

Yep. That's him. I didn't mind him too much the first time, but he pretty much abused me in the second and fourth fights. Maybe it was due to the difference in environment or to me just sucking, but I'll wait to see what you'll say after those encounters.

Well, I just blew threw them ALL last night (this guy is NOT a boss, he's a late game enemy), and I don't know why they didn't spread him out more but have you fight him like three times in a row at the end. It's not like you couldn't fight him with the "skunk" shotgun back in the early parts of the prison (that's still my go-to weapon for solving big problems). Anyway, along with Plague Tale 2 this is like a counter-trend to pure boss rush games.

Those blind guys add another game to your list of games Callisto ripped off: Last of Us (clickers).

Thank you! There's so many I felt like I was missing as many as I could name. I added that, Mass Effect and The Thing to the list.

I enjoyed that section, as I like it when you're in situations that require stealth and silence.

Me too, but it was actually much easier and less scary once I realized I could just abuse stealth kills because even though they're loud as hell for effect they don't alert enemies via sound. I was killing dozens of these guys, sometimes practically bumping into the next one as I did.

I'm usually a total idiot with recognizing faces, so I couldn't tell who he was during gameplay even though he seemed familiar. I looked him up after I finished the game, so I didn't have such a distraction!

I had no idea he was in the game until I saw him on the ship at the start and he looked and sounded familiar, "Is that... Josh Duhamel?" Then I remembered there was some real life versus Unreal comparison shot of his face a while back and the pieces suddenly all fit.

Would love a Henry Cavill game! Maybe Witcher 4? But actually, classic Geralt voiced by Doug Cockle is just too good to replace.

Sadly he won't even be doing Witcher 4 on Netflix. Maybe they'll bring him back after the dust settles if he's not too busy with 40K. I have to give him credit, maybe he's doing the more heroic work of making passable video game related film & television rather than being a big actor appearing in games (that's easy).

He's too busy being featured in another game:

Ehhh... but see? I guess he looks and sounds like he belongs. =)

Pretty sure he can do it. Proof? Here:

Well, I don't know where he's at since being diagnosed with aphasia, other than he retired from the screen. I don't know if games would be something less strenuous or exploitative since he was apparently not fully aware of all the acting work he was being signed up for previously.

I can't see Sly or Arnold in another game after chopping their heads off, slicing and dicing them, vaporizing them, and otherwise inflicting all sorts of horrors on them in Mortal Kombat 11.

Once again though, they did it, except Arnold was too lazy to even voice the dialogue but apparently did that shitty Predator game instead? Bleh.

Not bad choices, though in this case the distraction problem you mentioned will manifest strongly, at least for me.

Well, they'd make it a feature, like their status in real life would be intrinsic to the perception of the character, whereas Duhamel is basically playing a shady space trucker in Callisto.

You know who I'd like to play as in a game? Bryan Cranston. Maybe in a role that involves him going on an old-man espionage adventure ala MGS4 Solid Snake. Or Rowan Atkinson in a black-comedy thriller.

That's two very different desires! I think Cranston would be best deployed as a villain. I wouldn't be surprised to see him scowling on a Far Cry box some day like his comrade in Badness Giancarlo Esposito.

I'd rather someone else gets on it haha. Actually I remembered the Yakuza studio. They always bring in famous (in Japan) actors and the results are pretty cool!

Oh yeah, you may have noticed I quoted your last missive about Yakuza and Judgment but passed out without writing that I'm always looking hard at those Judgement games when they go on sale. I also got Like a Dragon as a free game but didn't get into it. I take it it's worth whatever effort I need to put in?

True. As I mentioned in my post, I didn't once feel the horror anyway, not like how Resi delivers it anyway. I'm not sure what is the particular missing aspect here. Maybe they should have added a stalker enemy, like RE2make's Mr. X or RE8's Lady D?

That's what they should have done with the aforementioned non-boss, since that's basically his role, just in the most rudimentary fashion (like a lot of stuff in this game; feels like it's from an old developer that hasn't made a lot of games the past decade =).

But, I don't think that solves the scarcity of scariness. It's all about atmosphere and empathy and ramming jump scares down your throat every other minute actually has the opposite effect. It should be scariest between the scary stuff happening, and maybe it is by default here since that stuff is kind of a letdown (I'm not dreading anything). Plus, it doesn't walk the walk, this isn't survival horror, it's a slow-paced action game. It's not scary when you're basically encouraged and given the means to exterminate everything anyway.

Yeah, it was a fun cocktail, though it could have used that particular flavor that it can claim for itself.

Yeah, they tried distilling all these exciting, iconic properties into one and somehow ended up homogenizing it into a familiar yet completely bland experience.

Yeah that came across as weird to me too. Even more than GoW's default option of dodging with X, which I changed to O right away.

Same, which was great, actually. I had a hard time adjusting to GoW 2018's combat but this fit like a glove. I don't even remember if it was that different or if it's just like riding a bike now.

Why not? I was just mentioning that Horizon didn't win anything in the GA, iirc.

That's sad, they should have recognized it with one of those redundant GoW awards, "Best Cinematic Open World WRPG!"

I'd have given it best narrative or whatever, since they clearly worked on that, though there's a debate between if that's a pure story award, or if there's also an execution/presentation element, in which case GoW indeed did it better.

Now this brings back memories! Mostly of my parents worrying about my, ahem, behavior on the streets of Liberty City (and Vice City after it)

Brings to mind the immortal MC Hawking lyric, "GTA3 is like The Sims to me..." I got that game literally the same day after getting my wisdom teeth removed and just played it for months straight, if not years. I didn't even need the pain meds they prescribed me. =)

Something like RE2 remake I do enjoy but that's a complete re-imagining rebuilt from the ground up by Capcom. I mean it would have been cool to do to it what they did to RE1 and keep the gameplay style as intact as possible, but it was still great.

Yeah, the top two Resident Evil games might both be RE2, and as I've said the RE2 remake pretty much gives you the perfect encapsulation of the series, past and present.

I am a bit iffy still on ultra realistic faces even when it comes to stuff like that though, even Death Stranding at times, which I think did that style of face capture the best, had issues. It's something in the way they render teeth and open mouths that is really off-putting to me.

Speaking of RE, the giant, perfect teeth on the Baker's come to mind, though they're supposed to look scary, so it works!

I do miss when the face/body rendering and animation arms race gave us stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/dreamboum/status/1226610123000467457

Wow, at first I was coming at that thread with the attitude of a haughty little killjoy, but by the third or fourth picture post I'm like, "Daaaaaamn, they're right, that looks better than anything from back then!"

All that aside, why did they do this to Satsuki?

Yikes! I swear my mental image of him is still the model in the bottom image from the original and how I thought of him during the remake... Either I didn't really get a close look at him or I might have thought that was a different character!

Oh and I'm 99% certain I brought this one up before, but this sucks major ass:

Well, when you put it that way, I can't really say you're wrong.

I just really hope that From is way more hands on if there is a Bloodborne remake at some point.

Nah, I doubt it, if anything they should squash it so it doesn't step on BloodIIborne (it's happening, I swear)!

I’ve heard nothing but good things about Ueda and his games. SotC looks amazing, and I can’t wait to play it.

I'm sure it's already on the list, but The Last Guardian is amazing as well in it's own right.

The first GTA game I played was San Andreas, and that was in college, so my parents had no say.

Now as an open world California simulator that one I truly lived in for a while; it's like The Sims to me. Except for stealing commercial jetliners, etc.

 

[Rhombaad]

I'm sure it's already on the list, but The Last Guardian is amazing as well in its own right.

Oh, it’s on there. I’ll be adding any future Ueda games to the list, too.

Now that one I truly lived it for a while, it's like The Sims to me.

It’s pretty great so far. I love gangster movies, so the GTA games have always appealed to me.

 

[Griffith]

The Callisto Protosequel - So, I finished it in about a half hour last night. I knew I was close but these games tend to meander at the end and I didn't want to be up forever the other night, except this one is actually saving the end of the game for the story DLC (not ideal) and really didn't waste any time wrapping it up. Just when I thought they were admirably giving this thing a definitive ending too (but they have franchise aspirations, so of course not).

Anyway, the plot didn't really coalesce into anything interesting in the end, it kind of just vaguely gestures at some pretty rote ideas, secret organizations, evolution, man in space, but as simple as it all was it somehow still didn't make sense what exactly they're trying to do and why, particularly with why they're setting up this contrived boss fight when there really didn't need to be a reason beyond monster attacks, fight it. It all just didn't follow. For being kind of dumb it didn't take any wild swings either, like the real test subject is YOU, or Cole is secretly the real Subject Zero from decades before, etc. This could be seen as restrained, but without some substance otherwise it's really just boring. Anyway, it was all lukewarm as advertised, but who cares, let's get to the gameplay...

The final boss is basically just a repeat of the two other types of "boss" encounters you have, the first part a hand-to-hand dodge-fest that's easy if you don't overthink it, just dodge until he stops swinging, and the final phase is basically the same as the other "bosses." Fire from a distance until he closes to attack, dodge, run, wash, repeat. The only new wrinkles were he throws some goo at you that, as far as I could tell, does no damage so there's little incentive to avoid it, and the hardest thing was the addition of a couple exploding goo guys chasing you each time you damage the boss enough.

Other than that, it's kind of a no-brainer once you know the one thing you have to do: I'm pretty sure he insta-kills you if he hits, but you only need to dodge him once per attack, which is automatic(!) if you're facing him and holding right or left, so timing or skill isn't even really a factor, before retreating back onto offense. Again, the only volatile ingredient is the exploders, so if you just take them out quick or run away and don't let them distract you so the big guy scores, you're fine.

Now, I'm not trying to be all, "hurr it 2 EZ 4 me", it's just despite the 1-hit kills he's so predictable and easy to avoid it's more there wasn't any variability and therefore tension to the fight. This goes back to the general lack of fear factor, where I should be stressed about this, like this is gonna be HARD, and taxing, I should be worried I'll get stuck, or, irrationally, that I won't ever beat him, etc! Instead I was considering how early I'd be able to get to sleep after putting this guy to bed. In general when it comes to these bosses, or lack thereof, it's hard to believe the same guy who had the zero G tentacle wall reveal from Dead Space went on to do this fifteen years later.

Anyway, I'm obviously being critical, but this game, while not special, is dumb fun and will basically scratch that next gen RE4/Dead Space itch if you've desperately got it. Despite the game's sometimes inexplicable shortcomings ("standard features coming as free DLC in February!"), I only want it to be better because I was nonetheless engaged and entertained for the duration. I liked it.

Oh, it’s on there. I’ll be adding any future Ueda games to the list, too.

Hah, enjoy the wait, you might have otherwise completed the list by then. =)

 

[Lawliet]

Speaking of Conan, I kept forgetting to post it during the Plague Tale discussions in here but Conan featured Requiem in the return of Clueless Gamer:

The opening is a pretty good recreation of me talking about these games to my wife, which is why I post my thoughts here so you all can roll your eyes at home. Now he just needs to bring Bill Harder back for God Of War Ragnarok.

Man, I loved Conan's Clueless Gamer episodes back in the day. That man's the number 1 at what he does. I stopped watching when he started featuring celebrities though. Aaron was more than a good enough co-host imo.

Well, I just blew threw them ALL last night (this guy is NOT a boss, he's a late game enemy), and I don't know why they didn't spread him out more but have you fight him like three times in a row at the end. It's not like you couldn't fight him with the "skunk" shotgun back in the early parts of the prison (that's still my go-to weapon for solving big problems). Anyway, along with Plague Tale 2 this is like a counter-trend to pure boss rush games.

Maybe I should have tried that skunk gun then. But man was he a pain to deal with, for me. I just couldn't master the dodge mechanic being with an analog stick for some reason, and that got me killed most of the time. Now I know how Sekiro players feel about the parry.

BTW they just released an update that changes the game a bit, mainly by speeding up your actions, from changing weapons to healing. You can (finally) skip those goddamn death animations too. The fans are divided on whether all this makes the experience better or not, but I think the solution was not to speed up your animations, but to have more reasonable animations to begin with (like, Josh doesn't need to stare at that fucking syringe before injecting it, every time, for example).

Thank you! There's so many I felt like I was missing as many as I could name. I added that, Mass Effect and The Thing to the list.

Lame joke incoming in 3...2...1...you can call this game the CalLISTo Protocol

Ah man, I look forward to driving my future children crazy with pristine dad jokes!

Me too, but it was actually much easier and less scary once I realized I could just abuse stealth kills because even though they're loud as hell for effect they don't alert enemies via sound. I was killing dozens of these guys, sometimes practically bumping into the next one as I did.

Yeah that kind of broke the spell. You can also swing your baton at nothing, and Josh will grunt loudly in the process, but as long as you don't hit anything, they won't notice. That's next-gen experience, for you!

Sadly he won't even be doing Witcher 4 on Netflix. Maybe they'll bring him back after the dust settles if he's not too busy with 40K. I have to give him credit, maybe he's doing the more heroic work of making passable video game related film & television rather than being a big actor appearing in games (that's easy).

Yeah, I heard he left not just because the writers wanted different things from the show, but to do more Superman as well. And now he's out of that too. Shame. I don't like that they replaced him with Liam Hemsworth of all people. He just doesn't seem right to me.

Ehhh... but see? I guess he looks and sounds like he belongs. =)

He does, doesn't he? I also remembered other video-gamey stuff he's been involved in, from Riddick way back in the day to that Fast & Furious game they did recently. Man's been busy.

That's two very different desires! I think Cranston would be best deployed as a villain. I wouldn't be surprised to see him scowling on a Far Cry box some day like his comrade in Badness Giancarlo Esposito.

I can't bring myself to fight or kill that beautiful and magnificent man in an FPS lol. I wouldn't reach him anyway, as I can't take anymore Far Cry. I dropped FC6 halfway through, and so I didn't even reach Gus Fring to shoot him.

Stay away from our Cranston, Ubisoft!

Oh yeah, you may have noticed I quoted your last missive about Yakuza and Judgment but passed out without writing that I'm always looking hard at those Judgement games when they go on sale. I also got Like a Dragon as a free game but didn't get into it. I take it it's worth whatever effort I need to put in?

I'd not hesitate to say that the Yakuza-Judgment series is the most underrated series in gaming, so yes I'd encourage you to dive in!

Here's a brief overview of the series:

Kazuma Kiryu Saga - The main series, in other words, the games of which are:

Yakuza 0 (2017) - The prequel to the entire series, and the best game of them all. If you want classic Yakuza, this is the place to start.
Yakuza Kiwami (2018) - The remake of the original game from the PS2, re-hauled with the style and engine of Yakuza 0.
Yakuza Kiwami 2 (2019) - The remake of Yakuza 2, same as above, but with the new engine.
Yakuza 3, 4, 5 - Available as a remastered collection of the original PS3 titles.
Yakuza 6 - The ending to Kazuma Kiryu's story, with the new engine that is still being used today.

New Series - A new saga with a new hero

Yakuza 7: Like a Dragon - A new story starring a new hero. It also changes the series from beat-em-up to turn based RPG. You can start here too.
Yakuza 8 - Upcoming sequel to the above.

Judgment - A spin-off series with another hero

Judgment (2019) - The first in the spin-off series, starring a private investigator. You're on the other side of the law this time.
Lost Judgment (2021) - The sequel, where you take on another epic case.

The Judgment games are very good and where the studio really flex their writing muscles. I'd suggest you start with these games.

All these games are set in the same universe, and specifically the same fictional town, during different periods of time. It's a pleasure how you see the city change over time, and how you can have a shallow interaction with a store clerk who happens to be an actual character in one of the other games. The series is a wonderful mix of seriousness and silliness. It can have heart-rending moments and laugh-out-loud antics, intricate plotlines and utter stupidity. So, if you try it, don't be too thrown off by the occasional absurdity haha. That's what I love about these games, they're like life itself with all its many facets.

I should mention that Yakuza: Ishin, a prequel set in pre-modern Japan, is coming next February too.

TLDR: Try Yakuza 0 and / or 7. Alternatively, just go for the Judgment series for an even fresher start. Enjoy!

Brings to mind the immortal MC Hawking lyric, "GTA3 is like The Sims to me..." I got that game literally the same day after getting my wisdom teeth removed and just played it for months straight, if not years. I didn't even need the pain meds they prescribed me. =)

Now that's the best fucking review a game can get: "It made me forget to take painkillers!"

I'm sure it's already on the list, but The Last Guardian is amazing as well in it's own right.

Amen. For me, it is the only game that wets my eyes haha. I've finished it twice and watched a friend play it once, and I was a wreck each time. Not that the others weren't emotional too, but they were different. The emotions SotC elicited were more of a slow-burn, but TLG just hits me hard to my face, as I think it would any animal lover.

 

[Walter]

Boiling Hot Elden Ring take!

I finally sat down today to finish Elden Ring after about 6 months or so of not playing it. I bought this at launch but I had dropped it right as I arrived at Leyndell in ashes.. Yes, that's right, the very end. The disappearance of the stairs to the throne annoyed me so much that I told the game to fuck off, and that little relationship spat ended up lasting about 6 months. So today I decided to lay it to rest, finishing the whole game squarely at 100 hours.

I really loved it. This was easily the most memorable game of the year, for me. And the way I played it, the experience lasted a year too. From time to time that long, stretched trumpet note would start playing unbidden in my head and I'd feel like I was back in Limgrave again. It delivered on the discovery and exploration potential I had always wanted out of Dark Souls. That was a much more straightforward world that didn't really reward sticking around zones for extra innings in the way this game does. On top of that, they made the most fun combat I've had in an action game in... maybe ever? I love fighting in this game. Figuring out how to effectively dual wield sent a little thrill through me just ripping through that whole train of losers outside Godrick's place. There's nothing like that. They extended the formula that had worked so well for them to a scale I never would have expected. Elden Ring genuinely feels like it squeezes in about 2-3 full games worth of content. And to that point...

There is simply way too much content for a cohesive experience, at least in the way that I tend to play games—in little nibbles and gnaws when I can find the time to spend more than an hour per session. But I found that approach and the structure of the world got in the way of my experience. The story was spread thinly across such a vast geography and through the traditional From Software disconnected method that ultimately, the storytelling left me completely emotionless. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I just can't relate with anyone who cared about Marika and her children's plight after all those fragmented vagueries. By contrast, I feel like traveling through and seeing everything around the shattered world itself was more rewarding than the little farts of story squirted around the map. So the story they were telling simply didn't live up to the grandness of the world they created. Moments like getting to the top of your first divine tower completely chopped the legs from under any morsel of story they tried to throw in front of you. I wasn't invested. So it created this strange parallel experience where for the most consequential of fights, I was bored. And in the most inconsequential of moments, exploring the map and finding new zones, I was riveted.

I could write more but you guys get the gist. These two monster paragraphs capture the disparity of feelings I had with the game. I loved it. But I would have loved it just as much if it were 50 hours instead of 100.

Chained Echoes
In other news, I just started to dip my toe into Chained Echoes, a game I backed on Kickstarter years ago on the promise of the creator being a huge fan of Xenogears, Final Fantasy VI, and Chrono Trigger, a perfect lineup of my favorite JRPGs. I'm just a few hours in and I'll say that pretty well captures the feeling of playing those games. And it comes with a ton of modern touches that make the grind not feel like a grind at all. Check it out if you're in the mood for such a thing. I think it’s like $20 and it’s on Switch, too.

 

[Lawliet]

Boiling Hot Elden Ring take!

Hi Walter. Happy to see you've finally completed your journey to become Elden Lord (or not? Which ending did you get?)

Actually, I don't think what you said was a hot take at all. In fact, it was pretty fair. @Griffith made an excellent analogy all the way back when he compared the previous games to paintings and Elden Ring to a massive architectural masterpiece. I think that was on point. You enter a huge palace and you will likely feel all the emotions you mentioned: awestruck, dwarfed, and so on, but not emotional in the intimate way as when you observe a painting. Balancing the personal and the epic is a very hard thing to do. So I don't think what you said was unfair.

That said, I found it helps to think of the regions of the world as little islands of story instead of comparing them to the whole. Redmayne Castle, with loyal soldiers who stage a tournament to give their mad general a dignified death in battle, was a pretty cool example. It would be like looking at a painting hung on one of the walls of that big palace, to continue the analogy.

But yeah, in the end, the most compelling thing about ER (and From Soft games in general) is that the gameplay is the story. The rest is just lore.

The disappearance of the stairs to the throne annoyed me so much that I told the game to fuck off, and that little relationship spat ended up lasting about 6 months.

 

[Griffith]

Man, I loved Conan's Clueless Gamer episodes back in the day. That man's the number 1 at what he does. I stopped watching when he started featuring celebrities though. Aaron was more than a good enough co-host imo.

You know, I wanted to disagree with this but other than the Hader GoW episode and, like, Will Arenett, I can't think of another celebrity one I enjoy. You're right!

Maybe I should have tried that skunk gun then. But man was he a pain to deal with, for me. I just couldn't master the dodge mechanic being with an analog stick for some reason, and that got me killed most of the time. Now I know how Sekiro players feel about the parry.

Ugh, don't bring up Sekiro. But yeah, I didn't bother with dodging against the trash mobs because they're too random. Those guys I would just put a bullet in for the stagger and combo them up from there. Worked almost every time and I upgraded the baton damage early.

BTW they just released an update that changes the game a bit, mainly by speeding up your actions, from changing weapons to healing. You can (finally) skip those goddamn death animations too.

I noticed the added death skip, but they need cutscene skipping too for segment replays (fuckin' A). They also need to fix the weapon switch to scroll through them all because, cute as two was, switching manually on the fly during waves or boss fights when you run out of ammo is too awkward, and not in a scary way.

Lame joke incoming in 3...2...1...you can call this game the CalLISTo Protocol

Yeah that kind of broke the spell. You can also swing your baton at nothing, and Josh will grunt loudly in the process, but as long as you don't hit anything, they won't notice.

Yeah, and stomp every body too.

Yeah, I heard he left not just because the writers wanted different things from the show, but to do more Superman as well. And now he's out of that too. Shame. I don't like that they replaced him with Liam Hemsworth of all people. He just doesn't seem right to me.

I mean, despite all the well-wishing, unless they were relieved to be rid of him for butting in to the creative side, this is one of those "just break/eat the contract" situations too.

I'd not hesitate to say that the Yakuza-Judgment series is the most underrated series in gaming

The series is a wonderful mix of seriousness and silliness. It can have heart-rending moments and laugh-out-loud antics, intricate plotlines and utter stupidity. So, if you try it, don't be too thrown off by the occasional absurdity haha.

I already got that sense from the beginning of Like a Dragon, which had some melodrama, stupid comedy, and like I said, I'd never heard anyone called a cumstain in a video game before, let alone so casually!

TLDR: Try Yakuza 0 and / or 7. Alternatively, just go for the Judgment series for an even fresher start. Enjoy!

Thanks for the in-depth explainer before too, but I'm glad you're ultimately recommending these since I already have 7 and the Judgement games look the most attractive to me.

Now that's the best fucking review a game can get: "It made me forget to take painkillers!"

Back in the day GTA3 was pure dopamine.

Amen. For me, it is the only game that wets my eyes haha. I've finished it twice and watched a friend play it once, and I was a wreck each time. Not that the others weren't emotional too, but they were different. The emotions SotC elicited were more of a slow-burn, but TLG just hits me hard to my face, as I think it would any animal lover.

The brilliant part is the relationship built through the gameplay is what sets you up the whole time.

Boiling Hot Elden Ring take!

I finally sat down today to finish Elden Ring after about 6 months or so of not playing it. I bought this at launch but I had dropped it right as I arrived at Leyndell in ashes.. Yes, that's right, the very end.

I wouldn't have expected anything else! The surprise is you actually came back to complete it after pulling off right before the finish line. You said you were going to finish it in the chat like months ago but I paid it no mind. =)

On top of that, they made the most fun combat I've had in an action game in... maybe ever? I love fighting in this game. Figuring out how to effectively dual wield sent a little thrill through me just ripping through that whole train of losers outside Godrick's place. There's nothing like that.

That is a great and important point: they didn't just take the Souls gameplay formula and blow it out to an absurd scale, they also fucking perfected it on a micro level so it played a bit like everyone's favorite Souls game. They even managed to work in a mounted combat equivalent that felt authentic on the first try.

They extended the formula that had worked so well for them to a scale I never would have expected. Elden Ring genuinely feels like it squeezes in about 2-3 full games worth of content. And to that point...

There is simply way too much content for a cohesive experience, at least in the way that I tend to play games—in little nibbles and gnaws when I can find the time to spend more than an hour per session. But I found that approach and the structure of the world got in the way of my experience. The story was spread thinly across such a vast geography and through the traditional From Software disconnected method that ultimately, the storytelling left me completely emotionless. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I just can't relate with anyone who cared about Marika and her children's plight after all those fragmented vagueries. By contrast, I feel like traveling through and seeing everything around the shattered world itself was more rewarding than the little farts of story squirted around the map. So the story they were telling simply didn't live up to the grandness of the world they created. Moments like getting to the top of your first divine tower completely chopped the legs from under any morsel of story they tried to throw in front of you.

The world IS the story my friend, and I do think your approach probably robbed you of some of the interconnectedness there. I admittedly landed on the opposite end of the spectrum where I played it so much and on such a granular level that eventually I saw the mythology in everything and vice versa, but I don't think it was just my brain doing that, it's actually there. You're probably not going to get that in bite-sized chunks though, which would obviously emphasize the smaller moments of awe you experienced individually.

Also, I wouldn't say I emotionally cared much about Marika and her kids either, I thought part of the charm of the mythology is they were sort of these distant, archetypical figures, yet were all petty and self-absorbed in their own way, which could be representative of different human aspects. Anyway, you don't need to like them, just that you recognized the greatness you did see in the game is good enough for me.

I could write more but you guys get the gist. These two monster paragraphs capture the disparity of feelings I had with the game. I loved it. But I would have loved it just as much if it were 50 hours instead of 100.

You said something to this effect in the chat as well, and that there were too many bosses, and I thought, "what's he talking about!?" It's like, the sex is great but too many orgasms! Actually, I thought it was funny that your critique wasn't couched in a complaint anout quantity over quality, but quantity of quality, to the point it was too hard to effectively take in and distracting. I disagreed because there's barely a dozen or less mandatory bosses, and if they cut it down to those essentials and a reasonable amount of optional choices, then it's potentially just Dark Souls again. To your point though, I think there's a lot more room for individual variance to the experience, not just because of the sheer amount of content, but because unlike almost every other open world game they don't catalogue and categorize it all for you so that the main story is burnished with huge shining neon signs pointing the way and the rest is clearly just a bunch of stuff off on the sides. In Elden Ring it's all just... out there. You decide what's meaningful to you, and you're not wrong for the experience you had either. The world is big enough we could both explore it thoroughly but come away with completely different perspectives of it, which I think is pretty cool in and of itself.

So, to all those AAA geniuses at quest design, take note: you're just underselling your own experiences when you explicitly tell me what matters and what doesn't. Plus, that dichotomy and double standard, main mission versus side mission, also effects the standards of quality the developers put into each. Everyone intrinsically understands that side quests don't matter or need to be that good, and therefore most aren't. Elden Rings elegant solution: treat all quests the same.

Chained Echoes, a game I backed on Kickstarter years ago on the promise of the creator being a huge fan of Xenogears, Final Fantasy VI, and Chrono Trigger, a perfect lineup of my favorite JRPGs. I'm just a few hours in and I'll say that pretty well captures the feeling of playing those games. And it comes with a ton of modern touches that make the grind not feel like a grind at all. Check it out if you're in the mood for such a thing.

Hell of a sell, who wouldn't want such a thing? Sounds great so I will take a look.

Actually, I don't think what you said was a hot take at all. In fact, it was pretty fair. @Griffith made an excellent analogy all the way back when he compared the previous games to paintings and Elden Ring to a massive architectural masterpiece. I think that was on point.

Just want to confirm and reiterate that my analogies are excellent and on point! So are Walter's though, I'm still chuckling at his home run derby one from the latest Skullcast.

But yeah, in the end, the most compelling thing about ER (and From Soft games in general) is that the gameplay is the story. The rest is just lore.

I think it's From Soft's best fusion of gameplay, lore and environment into a fully immersive sort of narrative. YMMV, obviously.

On the contrary...

Sonic Frontiers - It's sort of like a more focused Elden Ring.

I do enjoy running around the world though and am finally getting used to the crazy environmental mechanics and sometimes wonky controls. Took out another Ninja, Asura, and a couple of Squids, the latter of which was very cinematic and exhilarating. Then I was transported to what was basically a classic 2D Sonic level. Fun.

 

[Walter]

Actually, I don't think what you said was a hot take at all.

Certainly my take wasn't unique. I was sort of joking about the fact that I'm 10 months late to offer my criticism of Elden Ring.

It's like, the sex is great but too many orgasms

The sex was great. I just don't think I needed 50 orgasms with 50 different people to be satisfied. I think I simply prefer a more intimate orgy with four to five lord soul bearers.

Also, I wouldn't say I emotionally cared much about Marika and her kids either, I thought part of the charm of the mythology is they were sort of these distant, archetypical figures, yet were all petty and self-absorbed in their own way, which could be representative of different human aspects. Anyway, you don't need to like them, just that you recognized the greatness you did see in the game is good enough for me.

Sure, but I didn't expect people would shed tears over the story or anything (maybe that Vaati guy on YouTube and his followers?). My problem was that I didn't feel any investment in even learning more at a certain point (which I think it was around the time that I read about Radahn and his tiny horse). And yeah, certainly some of that is on me for my (involuntary) play style through it. But well, that was my experience with it, either way.

 

[Griffith]

The sex was great. I just don't think I needed 50 orgasms with 50 different people to be satisfied.

Well, if the worst thing one can say is it's like a bad case of Persistent Sexual Arousal Disorder, so be it. Behold, the true Lord of the Elden (cock)Ring!

Sure, but I didn't expect people would shed tears over the story or anything (maybe that Vaati guy on YouTube and his followers?). My problem was that I didn't feel any investment in even learning more at a certain point (which I think it was around the time that I read about Radahn and his tiny horse).

I recall that was when you started to express your malaise, yes (I thought that was also in part because he no longer lived up to the legend due to your own level in the game at the time). I forgot to mention the ones I actually did feel something for were Morgott and Godfrey, who, not coincidentally, actually share a brief father/son moment when Godfrey says goodbye. I also hated Malenia's guts if that counts. Oh, and who doesn't love the Turtle Pope?

And yeah, certainly some of that is on me for my (involuntary) play style through it. But well, that was my experience with it, either way.

Truly, that you played it and enjoyed your experience is all that matters.

 

[IncantatioN]

A close friend gave away his PS4 to me and Persona 5 as a game to begin my PS4 journey with. I'm barely 2 hours in, and it's very anime-like in those story cut-scenes. So far, it's chill.

 

[Lawliet]

I noticed the added death skip, but they need cutscene skipping too for segment replays (fuckin' A). They also need to fix the weapon switch to scroll through them all because, cute as two was, switching manually on the fly during waves or boss fights when you run out of ammo is too awkward, and not in a scary way.

The game basically needs an "Engoodening", a massive comeback that alters its reception among the public, like No Man's Sky once did and Cyberpunk 2077 is currently trying to do. Will it happen? Doubt it, but never say never, eh?

I already got that sense from the beginning of Like a Dragon, which had some melodrama, stupid comedy, and like I said, I'd never heard anyone called a cumstain in a video game before, let alone so casually!

Man, you're in for a lot weirder than that LOL.

There's a (mostly) naked NPC in Yakuza 0 who is literally called "The Walking Erection". He produces so much...ahem, product that your character exclaims "Man, how much jizz do you have in you!?". Then his side-quest begins.

You're in for a treat.

Thanks for the in-depth explainer before too, but I'm glad you're ultimately recommending these since I already have 7 and the Judgement games look the most attractive to me.

Good eye. The Judgment games are my favorite of them all. Start there if Yakuza 7's turn-based antics don't click.

Also, the Judgment storylines are more deep / serious in the sense that they deal with topics such as corruption, the inadequacies of justice systems, and so on, which puts them on another level than the storylines of the Yakuza games. Not that they lack their share of the goofy bullshit though!

The brilliant part is the relationship built through the gameplay is what sets you up the whole time.

Exactly. What's even more brilliant is that they don't even need to exploit cheap clichés to get you emotional. The beast doesn't even die in the end, and the ending is more or less positive. And yet it gets me every time.

I wish more devs learn from this guy.

So, to all those AAA geniuses at quest design, take note: you're just underselling your own experiences when you explicitly tell me what matters and what doesn't. Plus, that dichotomy and double standard, main mission versus side mission, also effects the standards of quality the developers put into each. Everyone intrinsically understands that side quests don't matter or need to be that good, and therefore most aren't. Elden Rings elegant solution: treat all quests the same.

This!

What's funny / irritating is that most people treat this merit as a negative. "A common criticism is the lack of objective markers and quest logs..."

I think it's From Soft's best fusion of gameplay, lore and environment into a fully immersive sort of narrative. YMMV, obviously.

I'd still give that award to Bloodborne, but ultimately it doesn't matter because it is a huge credit to From Soft that people can even disagree about this sort of thing. As in, they didn't just produce one great game and a bunch of average ones. Everything (at least, not counting the sequels even though they were good too) they put out since Miyazaki took charge has been inspired. That man is another genius I could name in this lacking industry.

---

Anyway...Deathloop: I just finished this game. It was an interesting experience; fun and occasionally hilarious. Very satisfying combat. I'd write a longer review, but I just don't have enough fuel to do so right now. Glad I finally gave it a go.

EDIT: I just finished another playthrough of RE2make, with the PS5's free upgrade. Still a great game, and lightyears ahead of the Callisto Protocol, I might add.

 

[Griffith]

Sonic Frontiers - So, it's obviously a wannabe Breath of the Wild and wears that inspiration on its sleeves, right down to the fallen, post-cataclysm, world full of advanced ancient tech and shrines and memories... but crossed with an old school ass Mario 64-style collect-a-thon. Not bad though! I'm having a good time, the controls and physics take some getting used to, but give you something to master as opposed to just doing the work for you, though it does that too for the more over the top speed runs. Almost done and... could THIS be the second best game of the year!? Not likely (but a fun time nonetheless)!

Oh yeah, and going back to our discussion of framerate and fidelity versus performance modes... sometimes it's the same thing because this game looks MUCH better in performance mode with the higher framerate, because whatever enhancement you get from the graphical mode is negligible and diminished returns compared to the fluidity of performance mode (the draw distance isn't even any good in "graphics" mode). This was the same with Elden Ring. They really need to say specifically what each setting does for resolution, framerate, textures etc besides emphasizing "graphics or performance" because they're not always mutually exclusive.

The game basically needs an "Engoodening", a massive comeback that alters its reception among the public, like No Man's Sky once did and Cyberpunk 2077 is currently trying to do. Will it happen? Doubt it, but never say never, eh?

Or Diablo III, but I don't know how successful that really is beyond the faithful that stuck with it anyway. Also, everyone just needs to stop trying to make Cyberpunk 2077 a thing.

Man, you're in for a lot weirder than that LOL.

There's a (mostly) naked NPC in Yakuza 0 who is literally called "The Walking Erection". He produces so much...ahem, product that your character exclaims "Man, how much jizz do you have in you!?". Then his side-quest begins.

You're in for a treat.

Well, the good news is I actually have free access to all these games except for Lost Judgement, which is heavily discounted!

Good eye. The Judgment games are my favorite of them all. Start there if Yakuza 7's turn-based antics don't click.

I was not a fan of the turn-based combat actually.

Also, the Judgment storylines are more deep / serious in the sense that they deal with topics such as corruption, the inadequacies of justice systems, and so on, which puts them on another level than the storylines of the Yakuza games. Not that they lack their share of the goofy bullshit though!

Well, it sounds a little more grounded in any case.

I'd still give that award to Bloodborne, but ultimately it doesn't matter because it is a huge credit to From Soft that people can even disagree about this sort of thing.

Perhaps you're right, everything in Bloodborne is designed to tell the story.

EDIT: I just finished another playthrough of RE2make, with the PS5's free upgrade. Still a great game, and lightyears ahead of the Callisto Protocol, I might add.

Putting a button Callisto:

And RE2make has kind of everything good about the RE franchise rolled into one, and is objectively the scariest game I've ever played. What's the PS5 upgrade do for it?

 

[Lawliet]

Oh yeah, and going back to our discussion of framerate and fidelity versus performance modes... sometimes it's the same thing because this game looks MUCH better in performance mode with the higher framerate, because whatever enhancement you get from the graphical mode is negligible and diminished returns compared to the fluidity of performance mode (the draw distance isn't even any good I'm "graphics" mode). This was the same with Elden Ring. They really need to say specifically what each setting does for resolution, framerate, textures etc besides emphasizing "graphics or performance" because they're not always mutually exclusive.

Yeah, I hadn't considered the "diminishing returns" for these modes before, so that's a very good point. Sometimes I don't even notice the supposed improvement when I switch to "graphics" mode. I remember switching back and forth in Horizon but not noticing the difference, if there was one. The idea to give specific figures to what you gain and / or lose in each mode is great! They should definitely implement it.

Or Diablo III, but I don't know how successful that really is beyond the faithful that stuck with it anyway. Also, everyone just needs to stop trying to make Cyberpunk 2077 a thing.

I've seen several successful comebacks - Final Fantasy XIV, No Man's Sky, Rainbow Six: Siege - so I wouldn't be surprised if Callisto or Cyberpunk eventually pull it off. It's unfortunate they couldn't get it right the first time, but unlike games of the past where done is done, we may be able to witness such revivals. Cyberpunk gets its first DLC next month, and they brought in Edris Elba for a role. He's one of my favorite actors but I couldn't help but smirk at the repetition of the mess they made the first time. We'll see.

You'll get used to it

Well, the good news is I actually have free access to all these games except for Lost Judgement, which is heavily discounted!

Sounds great. Dive in and become one of us. One of us. One of us!

I was not a fan of the turn-based combat actually.

It may grow on you, as it did for me. Pulling out your phone to summon a chicken or a grown-man in diapers to help in the middle of the fight certainly helped

Perhaps you're right, everything in Bloodborne is designed to tell the story.

Everything except a goddamn 60 fps, higher res patch. It's the only game in the entire series that doesn't run on these conditions. Have you realized that?

Putting a button Callisto:

And RE2make has kind of everything good about the RE franchise rolled into one, and is objectively the scariest game I've ever played.

It's an amazing game and I think the best of its genre (modern ones, not counting classics). It's like a text-book on modern survival-horror design, like Zelda BotW is a text-book on open-world, I think.

What's the PS5 upgrade do for it?

Nothing much, really. Aside from the frame-rate and high res, you get some haptic feedback effects during weapon reloads, and that's about it. Still, it's free, so why not upgrade anyway?

Also, I started RE3make today and man, playing those two back to back really drives home how infinitely superior 2 was to 3. I'm still enjoying it though, and may start Village again afterward (strangely, I never crave RE7) for the marathon. Then the wait for RE4make, which Dead Space will help with. It's a good time to be a survival-horror fan.

 

[Griffith]

Sonic Frontiers - Almost done and really digging how you can power up at the fishing holes at the end rather than wasting time collecting one piece at a time, though you can literally bypass most of the game this way too.

Yeah, I hadn't considered the "diminishing returns" for these modes before, so that's a very good point. Sometimes I don't even notice the supposed improvement when I switch to "graphics" mode. I remember switching back and forth in Horizon but not noticing the difference, if there was one.

I find this to be the case most of the time with the graphics modes, I usually don't see a notable difference, but sometimes in performance mode it does look much better because everything moves better. It's not just a visual medium but one predicated on motion and action.

The idea to give specific figures to what you gain and / or lose in each mode is great! They should definitely implement it.

It's PC gamer mentality; I'm just used to seeing that kind of information in the settings menus when you change a preset like that. Of course, I never used to think about that on console, where it just was what as it was, but now they've introduced this binary as the norm that seems to basically be a choice between "Medium" or "High" settings. They probably don't want to acknowledge too much, or the specifics, that these systems are extremely specialized, and limited, gaming PCs.

Hey, here we go, just put this IN the games:

I've seen several successful comebacks - Final Fantasy XIV, No Man's Sky, Rainbow Six: Siege - so I wouldn't be surprised if Callisto or Cyberpunk eventually pull it off.

I guess despite what I said I see it as more likely with Cyberpunk given all the potential "meat still on the bone," whereas Callisto basically is what it is unless they patch it to include half a dozen distinctive boss fights, etc.

Cyberpunk gets its first DLC next month, and they brought in Edris Elba for a role. He's one of my favorite actors but I couldn't help but smirk at the repetition of the mess they made the first time. We'll see.

Yeah, that would normally be promising, but it also feels like deja vu all over again.

Everything except a goddamn 60 fps, higher res patch. It's the only game in the entire series that doesn't run on these conditions. Have you realized that?

I try not to think about it. Plus, they still never ported it to PC where the fans could make the difference without you having to mod your platform..

It's an amazing game and I think the best of its genre (modern ones, not counting classics). It's like a text-book on modern survival-horror design

Agreed, it's the single best one, currently.

Nothing much, really. Aside from the frame-rate and high res, you get some haptic feedback effects during weapon reloads, and that's about it. Still, it's free, so why not upgrade anyway?

Well, probably not going to be replaying that one "for casual fun."

Also, I started RE3make today and man, playing those two back to back really drives home how infinitely superior 2 was to 3.

And it had such a promising start with Jill's potential PTSD before going nowhere with... well, everything. Nowhere period. And how do you completely fuck up the Nemesis mechanic when you already had it in the 2 remake? That's what Capcom gets for treating RE3 like a stepchild and farming it out.

(strangely, I never crave RE7)

Again, great for the scary-ass atmosphere, but the ordeal is kind of real so it's not the funnest.

hen the wait for RE4make, which Dead Space will help with. It's a good time to be a survival-horror fan.

Ugh, I guess I'm going to play those and should add them to my most anticipated of 2023, but... too many games already period, let alone remakes.

 

[Walter]

I picked up Diablo 2 remastered and Diablo 3's full edition (I can't bring myself to use all their fucking nomenclature for these), since they were on sale on battlenet for like $20 total. I had finished D3 at launch (with @Griffith and occasionally his dad and Aaz!) but never touched it afterward. I'll get back to it one day. Curious what they did in the expansion. Instead, I dove right into D2, one of my favorite games, and I've just about finished Act 1. It's been nice and familiar so far. I think what sold me on the whole expense was the convenience of not having to dig up my goddamned CD (or was it DVD?) from 1999. I just pay $20 and get D2 that plays well at a high resolution. If I'm being honest though ... I knew all of those things before, but then I saw the light sourcing in one of the crypts in Act 2 and I instantly purchased. It's not much—just a small touch on an otherwise mostly untouched core game—but it felt substantial to me.

 

[Bubby]

Right now I’m playing elden ring and mass effect trilogy again