berserk and vagabond both talk a lot about loneliness and everything and I love these 2 manga yet when it comes to me I just find it hard to apply their rules to my loneliness. It kinda hurts when all your friends get into relationships and your left alone (what’s happening to me) and i dwell into whether it’s about my looks my body is weird. I just don’t know tbh.
How to handle loneliness
- Thread starter Rohith_porter
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It's completely normal that you dislike being alone, it's healthy. Humans are social animals. Some folks can endure isolation better than others, but after a while it starts weighing on most people. So really, don't feel like it's a failure on your part. At the same time, don't let it get you down too much either. Once you're in a relationship, you'll fondly remember the days when you could do whatever you wanted, so make the most of it while you can.
With regards to finding inspiration from Berserk, Vagabond or other stories, I would caution you against trying to find "rules" in there to apply to your own life. It's normal to be influenced or inspired by stories, but keep in mind they're fictional and depict vastly different realities from our own. Besides, Berserk makes it pretty clear that being alone sucks. A huge part of the story is about Guts getting his priorities straight with Casca and then accepting new friends into his life.
Now, I don't know you so I can't really comment on your specific situation but I'll say that most people can be attractive enough to find a partner so long as they make an effort. That includes the physical side (hygiene, fitness, clothes) and intellectual side (be funny, kind, interesting, motivated). Some people have better luck at birth than others, but in most cases there's a way as long as you have the right attitude. That also means having realistic standards and understanding that a relationship is built on compromise and mutual care, it's not something anyone is ever owed.
Lastly, the truth is you're unlikely to find the love of your life on the first try. Rejection happens and when it does you gotta swallow it and move on, and even then many relationships fail and oftentimes badly so. It's a fact of life and it's important not to become jaded if it happens to you. You've got to stay positive and to generally be a fun and interesting person, because when you push people away they don't tend to insist.
To leave you with constructive advice: try to get out more and to meet new people. If you just stick around friends that are all in relationships, you may have less opportunities to meet a potential partner. Find some activities you like and involve yourself, whether it's sports, concerts, local associations, conventions, whatever. Get out of your comfort zone. The more people you meet (and get to know), the more likely you are to find someone. Good luck!
With regards to finding inspiration from Berserk, Vagabond or other stories, I would caution you against trying to find "rules" in there to apply to your own life. It's normal to be influenced or inspired by stories, but keep in mind they're fictional and depict vastly different realities from our own. Besides, Berserk makes it pretty clear that being alone sucks. A huge part of the story is about Guts getting his priorities straight with Casca and then accepting new friends into his life.
Now, I don't know you so I can't really comment on your specific situation but I'll say that most people can be attractive enough to find a partner so long as they make an effort. That includes the physical side (hygiene, fitness, clothes) and intellectual side (be funny, kind, interesting, motivated). Some people have better luck at birth than others, but in most cases there's a way as long as you have the right attitude. That also means having realistic standards and understanding that a relationship is built on compromise and mutual care, it's not something anyone is ever owed.
Lastly, the truth is you're unlikely to find the love of your life on the first try. Rejection happens and when it does you gotta swallow it and move on, and even then many relationships fail and oftentimes badly so. It's a fact of life and it's important not to become jaded if it happens to you. You've got to stay positive and to generally be a fun and interesting person, because when you push people away they don't tend to insist.
To leave you with constructive advice: try to get out more and to meet new people. If you just stick around friends that are all in relationships, you may have less opportunities to meet a potential partner. Find some activities you like and involve yourself, whether it's sports, concerts, local associations, conventions, whatever. Get out of your comfort zone. The more people you meet (and get to know), the more likely you are to find someone. Good luck!
Beautifully put, Aaz.
I want to add this comment though: there is nothing wrong with being single. There's no need to feel bad or ashamed about it in any way. Also, remaining single doesn't necessarily mean you'll live unhappily; there are many people out there leading perfectly happy lives on their own. It's just that in many cultures we're raised with the notion that everyone must have a partner and that not having one means you'll be miserable. This is a nonsensical notion, of course.
What I'm trying to say is that having a partner should not be the source of your happiness, but a thing that completes it. If you are happy with yourself as an individual and want to add to that by having someone in your life, then go for it! But looking for a partner because all your friends are being paired up shouldn't be the reason to do so. Don't feel pressured to do it; things tend to work out at their own pace.
Anyway, whatever your circumstances are, I wish you good luck!
I want to add this comment though: there is nothing wrong with being single. There's no need to feel bad or ashamed about it in any way. Also, remaining single doesn't necessarily mean you'll live unhappily; there are many people out there leading perfectly happy lives on their own. It's just that in many cultures we're raised with the notion that everyone must have a partner and that not having one means you'll be miserable. This is a nonsensical notion, of course.
What I'm trying to say is that having a partner should not be the source of your happiness, but a thing that completes it. If you are happy with yourself as an individual and want to add to that by having someone in your life, then go for it! But looking for a partner because all your friends are being paired up shouldn't be the reason to do so. Don't feel pressured to do it; things tend to work out at their own pace.
Anyway, whatever your circumstances are, I wish you good luck!
Like Lawliet said, not being paired up shouldnt put pressure on you to do the same. Seeking the company of another because you're craving it will only leave you dependant on that rather than helping you reach a point where you are happy being in your own company and seek others out to add to your life experience rather than to make them the centre of it.
I was in your same boat; I moved around a lot as a kid and never really got to set up roots anywhere. I eventually moved to a city where I knew no one due to a series of complicated circumstances as well. For a while I was nervous but to be honest it all turns around when you just start focusing on yourself.
If you live in the US there's a website I utilized called Meetups that had all sorts o things related to my hobbies. There were anime clubs, Japanese language club, Board Game club and even a foreign film club. I didn't stick with too many of these for too long but they helped me level up my social skills!
Things really turned around for me when I joined a gym and started going to classes there as well. Everyone was super nice and I made some friends with the regulars in the other work out classes. I think that structure of regularly seeing each other is how many people make friends. This can be through things like the gym, higher education or even something like a weekly hobby meet up. I know my younger sibling made most of his friends through regularly going to YuGiOh tournaments.
I think you just need to focus on yourself, there's people all over the world and it'll kind of naturally fall into place as you work on being the best you. Was there some degree or certification you wanted? Go for it! Were you interested in a foreign language? Go for it! Heck, if you just enjoy doing something try to be the best you can at it. The art school near me shows films and has discussions every few weeks so if you enjoy film look for something like that!
If you live in the US there's a website I utilized called Meetups that had all sorts o things related to my hobbies. There were anime clubs, Japanese language club, Board Game club and even a foreign film club. I didn't stick with too many of these for too long but they helped me level up my social skills!
Things really turned around for me when I joined a gym and started going to classes there as well. Everyone was super nice and I made some friends with the regulars in the other work out classes. I think that structure of regularly seeing each other is how many people make friends. This can be through things like the gym, higher education or even something like a weekly hobby meet up. I know my younger sibling made most of his friends through regularly going to YuGiOh tournaments.
I think you just need to focus on yourself, there's people all over the world and it'll kind of naturally fall into place as you work on being the best you. Was there some degree or certification you wanted? Go for it! Were you interested in a foreign language? Go for it! Heck, if you just enjoy doing something try to be the best you can at it. The art school near me shows films and has discussions every few weeks so if you enjoy film look for something like that!