I just lost my eye

Shit... what happened ?
I had an eye infection for about one day, but yesterday at 3 am I noticed that there was white in front of it. I went to the emergency room as soon as I could, 8am, they let me wait until 7pm. Turned out it was exactly in front of my pupil and the infection which was extremely aggressive, had gone inside of my eye. Every minute counted. It being in/in front of my pupil means that the scarring which will occur, will permanently damage my eye, I will be lucky to get 10% of my vision back (rn I see extremely vague silhouettes based upon light because the infection is still in my pupil.) Just extremely bad judgement and luck. I’ll have to stop wearing contacts, get glasses. I can’t risk my other eye. So its the end of an era. Alas, I am getting tinted blue sunglasses like johnny depp


With the streak of a tear, Like morning dew
I'd be pretty apoplectic, to put it mildly, with the emergency room not giving me a once over before making me wait that long with what turned out to be devastatingly serious ailment (I don't know what the check in process was like for you, but I've been to the emergency room/urgent care a lot in the last few years and some are smarter than others about how they prioritize people). Anyway, I'm sorry this happened and hope you're able to recover what you can.
I'd be pretty apoplectic, to put it mildly, with the emergency room not giving me a once over before making me wait that long with what turned out to be devastatingly serious ailment (I don't know what the check in process was like for you, but I've been to the emergency room/urgent care a lot in the last few years and some are smarter than others about how they prioritize people). Anyway, I'm sorry this happened and hope you're able to recover what you can.
Wouldn't be surprised if this happened in Canada. The ER departments there are diarrhea, from my experience. In one case, an issue I had resolved itself by the time my turn came up...

Anyway, if there's a chance for some form of recovery to happen, I wish you the best, Odeon.


Staff member
Been able to read a (huge) word again yesterday for the first time.

If you can recover up to 3/10, you should be able to read from that eye with glasses. Then the hassle will be to try and give you binocular vision again. Best of luck.
You do well.
Trust me, I'm working in the health domain (emergency as well for months) and I've seen so much shit done and covered. The time you had to wait is insane...
When my father passed away, we should have investigated the situation instead of just "accepting" what happened... but obviously, when you're in the grief, your mind isn't in the best state for that.
It's good to read about your progress, I hope it will goes even better.
Well, I'm just using this as a personal diary about it now.

One month into treatment. The doctors say that I can see 5/60 (nothing), and it won't improve.
Good news is, that not all 5 layers of the cornea are damaged, so I can get a partial transplant if I chose to, but that's for far in the future and they recommend me getting a full transplant regardless. I also dodged a further bullet, cause the infection could've went into my eye

Besides the scar that blocks my sight, there's another, more traditional looking scar, that looks like a floater, just drifting around. I have ADD and it's quite distracting.
I'm getting used to the glasses, I also have an eyepatch, but I usually don't wear it because people instantly feel bad for me, which I dislike. It did affect my confidence, but I'm getting back on my feet. I'm trying to get used to the strange, blurry vision that I have with 2 eyes open, in my house it's doable, but outside in the sun it's overwhelming. I'm scared that I might get a lazy eye, but so far so good, presumably should've asked the doc if that was even an option, but I'm paranoid now.
In a month my internship starts, and I'm also planning on going to a festival. If I can pull that off, then it would be great.

I decided that I don't want to sue the hospital. Perhaps a stupid idea, but it's my idea. I'm done sending more negativity into the world and I wouldn't feel comfortable about it.
I now finally have my sunglasses, which are adapted to my right eye. It stops quite a bit of the glare that the left eye leaves me with. The halo's are lessened. Of course, the glasses don't look like what they'd look like online, again, but at least they look better than the circus I was wearing before (also ordered online). Those were honestly one of the most hideous glasses I've ever seen, they severely affected my confidence but I had no choice but to wear them. Now, I look like someone from the Matrix, but I finally kind of feel like I am me again, after almost 2 months. I guess the clothes do make the man. Also, I've got some new glasses from an actual opticien that are on their way, before I leave for Spain (for my internship), so looking forward to that.

Also, my mother ignored what I said and is just sueing the hospital regardless. I'll just let her do it, it will give her something to do instead of just laying on the couch.


Staff member
Good to know, and hopefully the ones from the optician make even more of a difference. Got to keep going forward!
Late to the post, I'm so sorry you had to go through what you did. Glad to also read about your progress so far and that you're getting your confidence back. Good luck for your internship in Spain! All you need now is a black cape, and everyone in your class will be psyched that Neo has joined 'em.
My friend lost his eye in a NYE fireworks incident and recently exploded from all the jokes people make. Don't take any grief from anyone in the onset and avoid the anger he felt for a couple years bottling in his reaction to people mocking him.
I am now in Spain. Going very well.
Just before I left, I visited the doctor. I had no expectations other than what I heard last time.

I passed the finger test (tell them how many fingers they stick up) to the max, Where I first couldnt see them right in front of me. When I close my eyelid almost fully I can see without as much light breaking.

I got into convo with doc, he said that my scar is doing really well, he could actually see my pupil and iris. He said the floater I have in my eye (I first thought it was another scar) will dissapear after a long time, but its not permanent. I told him about the eyelid trick. He said perhaps a Scelar lens could really help, but we would talk about it once I get back. When I first proposed a scelar lens he said it was not an option, but it’s going miraculously well, soooo. A scelar lens creates a new surface, so the light properly hits the eye and stops the fractation (I think).

When I don’t wear my glasses it’s almost like theres no differences between the eyes, but when I put on the glasses the vision right gets correct while the left does not. Probably because the surface isnt straight yet, the glasses cant correct it cause it was made for a cornea thats normal. a scelar lens would probably correct this. I also can now stop with my medication at the end of the month and I don’t have to visit a spanish hospital.

Essentially it couldn’t be going better and they’re really happy with the situation. And indeed, when I look in the mirror I finally see my pupil again.

That being said, still bad sight right now of course, but it was interesting seeing a flamenco danser glow up on the stage in her black and red dress.
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I’m still in Spain. No more medication. I’ve had more good news. So my eye is still blurry, but what I’ve noticed is that when I put off my glasses my eyes are quite similar, left just has a white fuzz covering it. I think most of it is also caused by the fracturing of light. My left eye actually sees worse WITH glasses, as they don’t fit. Up close I can’t see details, but the background is the same and my eye has quite a reach. The floater is fading very slowly.

My mother got a letter, in which it was mentioned that my eye is actually very transparent, it’s just the fracturing that fucks me up. So they propose that I should try a sceral lens (not sure if I spelled it correctly). Which would make the surface even and help with the fracturing of the light. They continue to suggest I should use a hard contact lens for my right eye, as infection almost never occurs with those. Of course, if so, I would treat it extremely hygienically regardless.

Essentially what they’re saying is, that when I return in april, I could very likely live without glasses. Thats fantastic news for me, as I hate being forced to do something. Like for example wearing glasses, I don’t hate the glasses, but I hate the concept of having no choice. Now I would have a choice.

On top of that I’ve noticed more improvement in my eye, where I’m actually able to read from my phone as long as the background is black (the white causes fracturing) and I can see my hand like in the test way clearer.

I’ll find out when I talk to the doc in April. For now I’m doing pretty good. Regardless of anything 2022 was the best year of my life so far.
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Two months later and my time in Spain seems to be coming to an end. As time went on, I’m afraid that I became more pessimistic about my eye. Perhaps to prepare myself for the big reveal, in case it turns out negatively.

Next month, It will have been half a year, I will be back in my home country, and my final options will be discussed.

It’s tough turning around and simply not seeing the person who is talking to you unless you look at them directly and focus through the glare. It’s tough hearing people I became friends with later say that they initially thought of me as a “nerd” because of the glasses and the fact that I’m forced to hold back a bit, as I can’t see and the blur tires me. I’m not the person who I should be.

To be honest, it all gave me a huge identity crisis which I’m still battling. I know it might seem superficial, but I feel like I’ve been forced not to be myself. All is not over yet of course, I hope that perhaps a scleral lens and a hard contact will still significantly increase my sight and self confidence. But if it doesn’t, then I’ll have to go for the transplant, because I can’t live like this. I guess that there’s always options still.

Past month, I fell into the habit of breaking off all contact with people and just sulking in my room. Maybe I’m just tired of Spain and all the partying that people do here. I wonder if it all had been different if I still felt “free”, like I did before. I remember clearly how I felt like I could conquer the whole world, just days before the injury.

But this is reality, and certainly it was something that I will always remember. But I’m just so tired of this shit and I need to escape. We will see. I will give the next update once I know, in a month or so. Sorry for the complaining, but I have to say it’s good just sharing this.


Staff member
A seldom discussed fact of life is that hardships, more than anything else, build character. You won't live the life you would have otherwise, but maybe you're the better for it in the long term. And it could be worse, you could have fully lost the eye. I know it's no comfort to hear this, but you must soldier on, forge your way through life where others sometimes just go by effortlessly. You're not the lesser for it.
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